Lord, Help Me Forgive Tonight - Your Nightly Prayer - September 16th

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Lord, Help Me Forgive Tonight
Your Nightly Prayer
by Clarence Haynes Jr.

TONIGHT’S SCRIPTURE

"Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you." - Colossians 3:13 

SOMETHING TO PONDER

For more than twenty years, I wrestled with unforgiveness. This was not a general grudge (I was not mad at the world); this was a deep, targeted bitterness toward one person. This one person had hurt me, and I let that pain settle in and take up permanent residence in my heart. What made this even more complicated was that I knew better. I could quote all the verses about forgiveness. I would share them with other people, encouraging them to forgive. On the outside, I looked like someone who had it all together. But inside, I was struggling to do what I was encouraging others to do. Every time I thought about forgiving that person, something in me resisted.

Eventually, I had to face a truth that I didn’t want to admit. I didn’t resist because I didn’t know I should forgive or that I lacked spiritual maturity. I resisted because I didn’t want to forgive. That realization hit hard.

You might find yourself in a similar place. It’s not that you can’t forgive. It’s that you don’t want to. Somewhere along the line, you’ve convinced yourself that holding on to the offense gives you power or protects you. I have discovered it only keeps you imprisoned. Sadly, the longer you hold on, the more bitter and bound you become (speaking from personal experience here).

When I look at Scripture, God does not present forgiveness as a suggestion or a nice idea if you feel up to it. Forgiveness is a command. God removes all the conditions or clauses we often try to hold up as grounds for our forgiveness. Instead, he tells us to forgive and in Colossians 3:13, he gives us one compelling reason why we should. Because he forgave you.  

That one statement silences every excuse we want to make. You forgive because you’ve been forgiven. It doesn’t matter whether the person apologizes or whether they ever made things right. Forgiveness is not about what they did. It’s about what God has done for you.

Here’s a hard truth that I had to learn. Unforgiveness is rooted in self-righteousness. I was happy to receive God’s forgiveness for my failures, but I was unwilling to extend that same grace to someone else. In my mind, I deserved grace, but they didn’t. That kind of thinking put me in a dangerous place. My heart was out of step with God’s heart. Regardless of how many ways I tried to justify, I was still wrong.

That’s why the real question you need to wrestle with tonight is not can you forgive, but do you want to forgive?

If your answer is yes, even if it’s a hesitant yes, then God can work with that. When you choose to obey his command to forgive, he will supply the strength to follow through. However, the first step must begin with your willingness, and you control that first step.

Forgiveness is not about someone getting away with anything, but about you letting go of everything. You choose to let go of the offense and allow God to handle the outcome. The moment you can do that, you are on your path to freedom and healing.

So tonight, if there’s someone who you’ve tried to forgive but haven’t, bring that name before the Lord. Don’t wait until you feel like it but do it because you know it is what God wants you to do.

YOUR NIGHTLY PRAYER

Lord, I am coming because I need to forgive. I held on, made excuses, even told myself I can’t forgive that person. When I search my heart, I realize I am not ready to forgive that person, and I need you to change my heart. Your word commands us to forgive, and I want to walk in obedience to your word. Help me to honor your word and forgive.
In Jesus’ name,
Amen.

THREE THINGS TO MEDITATE UPON

1. Forgiveness does not begin with your ability, but your desire.

2. The unforgiveness you hold on to reveals more about the condition of your own heart than the actions of the other person.     

3. Forgiveness is what sets you up to be free from the hurts of your past.

Photo Credit:  ©Getty Images/Kieferpix

Clarence L. Haynes Jr. is a speaker, Bible teacher, and co-founder of The Bible Study Club.  He is the author of The Pursuit of Purpose which will help you understand how God leads you into his will. His most recent book is The Pursuit of Victory: How To Conquer Your Greatest Challenges and Win In Your Christian Life. This book will teach you how to put the pieces together so you can live a victorious Christian life and finally become the man or woman of God that you truly desire to be. Clarence is also committed to helping 10,000 people learn how to study the Bible and has just released his first Bible study course called Bible Study Basics. To learn more about his ministry please visit clarencehaynes.com.  

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